Someone Actually Gives Lindsay Lohan New Movie Role

Lindsay Lohan’s last film was called I Know Who Killed Me, and it was so bad that the 17 people who saw it nearly died at the box office. True story.

Now the Crotch of Fire will be starring in another murder-filled flick.

Lohan has been tapped to play Nancy Pittman, one of Charles Manson’s cult followers, in the upcoming film Manson Girls, according to E!.

Since Lindsay Lohan, 21, has had serious troubles with the law and just completed rehab, “the production company is insuring her for the film,” a source told E!

Lindsay Lohan will make her film return in Manson Girls.

In other news, on Sunday, Lindsay Lohan’s 67-year-old grandmother suffered minor injuries after driving her car into a tree and pole on Long Island.

Recent reports of Lindsay herself colliding with a pole (belonging to Calum Best) are untrue, as the grainy cellphone picture of some chick polishing the knob of some dude turned out not to be the troubled celebrity after all. Sad.

Kate Moss, Gisele Bundchen Nude Photos to Be Auctioned

Kate Moss is garnering headlines once again – and not for her cocained use, waifish appearance or the antics of her idiot, drug-addict boyfriends.

Photos of a nude Kate Moss and of Gisele Bundchen naked are set to be auctioned off at Christie’s with an estimated price tag of $3 million.

That’s $3 million more than the (HOT!) one posted below… although the ones being auctioned off may be of slightly higher quality.

For sale: Naked Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen nude . Nice. Very nice.

According to reports, “The collection includes nude portraits of models Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen, and an image of Brigitte Bardot. Helmut Newton, Richard Avedon and Irving Penn are among the photographers.”

The images, which come from the collection of German-born Gert Elfering, go on sale at Christie’s in New York on April 10. You can either book a flight to Germany or peep our gallery of Gisele Bundchen photos. Your call!

Either way, you’ll like what you see… but that’s as close as you’re gonna get. Only Tom Brady gets to see the real deal up close and personal. Jackass.