Someone Actually Gives Lindsay Lohan New Movie Role

Lindsay Lohan’s last film was called I Know Who Killed Me, and it was so bad that the 17 people who saw it nearly died at the box office. True story.

Now the Crotch of Fire will be starring in another murder-filled flick.

Lohan has been tapped to play Nancy Pittman, one of Charles Manson’s cult followers, in the upcoming film Manson Girls, according to E!.

Since Lindsay Lohan, 21, has had serious troubles with the law and just completed rehab, “the production company is insuring her for the film,” a source told E!

Lindsay Lohan will make her film return in Manson Girls.

In other news, on Sunday, Lindsay Lohan’s 67-year-old grandmother suffered minor injuries after driving her car into a tree and pole on Long Island.

Recent reports of Lindsay herself colliding with a pole (belonging to Calum Best) are untrue, as the grainy cellphone picture of some chick polishing the knob of some dude turned out not to be the troubled celebrity after all. Sad.

Kate Moss, Gisele Bundchen Nude Photos to Be Auctioned

Kate Moss is garnering headlines once again – and not for her cocained use, waifish appearance or the antics of her idiot, drug-addict boyfriends.

Photos of a nude Kate Moss and of Gisele Bundchen naked are set to be auctioned off at Christie’s with an estimated price tag of $3 million.

That’s $3 million more than the (HOT!) one posted below… although the ones being auctioned off may be of slightly higher quality.

For sale: Naked Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen nude . Nice. Very nice.

According to reports, “The collection includes nude portraits of models Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen, and an image of Brigitte Bardot. Helmut Newton, Richard Avedon and Irving Penn are among the photographers.”

The images, which come from the collection of German-born Gert Elfering, go on sale at Christie’s in New York on April 10. You can either book a flight to Germany or peep our gallery of Gisele Bundchen photos. Your call!

Either way, you’ll like what you see… but that’s as close as you’re gonna get. Only Tom Brady gets to see the real deal up close and personal. Jackass.

Marko Jaric: Not Engaged to Adriana Lima … Yet

Minnesota Timberwolves star Marko Jaric is “over the moon” about his new love, Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima. But don’t believe celebrity gossip that he’s shopping for engagement rings. At least not yet.

The couple have been dating for the last six months, but Marko Jaric says he was perplexed by recent celebrity news sites’ reports talking about him checking out local jewelry stores for a rock for Adriana Lima.

“I am not shopping right now,” the 29-year-old Serbian Sensation said.

“But I could start tomorrow. I am that close. I’m definitely not yet engaged, but it doesn’t mean we’re not thinking about it.”

Marko Jaric may not hit many jump shots, but he’s hitting Adriana Lima.

When the time comes, however, the entire process may come as a surprise.

“I would rather keep that my own secret,” says Marko Jaric, who averages a pedestrian 7.7 points and 2.9 rebounds per game career.

“It’s a life decision … a private thing.”

Jaric admits he’s not normally such a romantic, but being with a Brazilian supermodel like Adriana Lima has changed him. Funny how that will do it.

“I was not the person to fall in love easily. I am a difficult person from that standpoint,” he says. “Now, it’s a little different situation.”

Just give it time. This guy is so smitten it’s not even funny. In a few months these two will be engaged just like Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge. Watch.